December 28, 2025 Quite scared

I’m quite afraid that if I can’t find someone to confide in, to accompany me, or to sleep beside me, I will once again close myself off. I really want to feel a sense of participation in conversations… not just listening, watching, and being there, but unable to respond. I’m not the kind of person who only wants silent company— I want to have deep conversations with others. It feels rather pathetic… I know I can’t handle it, yet I still stay there, because I have nowhere else to go… Even though I have Japanese friends, I suffer because I can’t join their conversations. The language barrier makes communication impossible. Does that mean I lack confidence? I just want to feel needed, recognized, noticed. Later, I started thinking about why I brought them together. Maybe it wasn’t just about expressing myself so simply. Perhaps I also wanted to see how they would interact. But I never thought they would actually end up together. Why can’t my thoughts be more thorough? I always regret things only after I’ve done them. Later, when I went to discuss it with them, the girl said, “Even if you hadn’t brought us together, we would have ended up together anyway. By Copilot translate