February 15, 2024 Just because you have made a change does not mean

The carefully crafted persona I once maintained has now crumbled. Even though it lies in ruins, I must still change my behavior.

I’ve caused my fair share of trouble, often because I failed to consider the feelings of the collective. The group’s attitude toward me has shifted, yet I rarely reflect on whether the issue lies within myself. Even when I recognize my faults, I resist change, unable to absorb their feedback. Instead, I persistently pester them, seeking answers about my wrongdoings and why they treat me a certain way. But even when I learn the reasons, I remain unchanged, continuing to evade responsibility.

The more I contemplate avoidance strategies, the more I inadvertently create chaos. I find myself tangled in predicaments, desperate to understand the root causes. I ask others what I’ve done, but their answers elude me. My urgency to resolve matters quickly leads me astray. I don’t want to appear stagnant, yet I fail to realize that my constant inquiries burden everyone, worsening the situation. I seek help, yet the problems remain unresolved.

History’s patterns repeat themselves. Why do they despise me and hold me accountable for calamities? Because of me. Why do relationships sour and misfortune brew? Because of me. Why do their happiness wane and troubles escalate? Because of me. Whether I explain too slowly or too hastily, the outcome remains consistent—I am the harbinger of chaos.

Changing oneself doesn’t guarantee a shift in their perception. Instead, they remember the troubles I’ve caused. It’s a harsh reality, but I must break free from the past’s entanglements. Perhaps they tried to salvage our connections, but I’ve already left a trail of turmoil. It’s time to put an end to it. By Copilot translate