# Personal Q\&A

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Q1. Why are you called Furami? \
A1. In 2016, I was originally called "灼燄" (Burning Flame), and when translated into English by Google, it became "BurningFlame." However, due to a mispronunciation by my friend "阿皮" (Appy), the word "Flame" was read as F(FU) LA(RA) ME(MI). Subsequently, "柚子" (Yuzu), the brother of Ah Pi, gave me the name "フラミ" (Furami). (Details can be found in "My Experiences - a certain day in 2016")

As a side note, people who have known me for a long time still call me 灼燄, such as Yuzu and Yuzu's mother.

Q2. Why were you called "灼燄" before? \
A2. I liked the fire element, and at that time, I wanted something special, so I chose 灼燄 (Burning Flame).

Q3. Are you disabled? A3. Yes.

Q4. What type of disability do you have? \
A4. ICF Category 1.

Q5. Why do you have a learning disability? \
A5. In primary school, I was diagnosed with a learning disability by a doctor. However, I believe I lean more towards ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Due to my mother being busy with work at the time, I didn't have the opportunity to get a proper diagnosis. My disability certificate was obtained only in recent years, and it classifies me under ICF Category 1.

Q6. Why do you think your communication, understanding, and reactions were not good before, even though now it seems you have no problem with them? \
A6. In the past, my communication, understanding, and reactions were indeed not as good as they are now. Through guidance from friends, I've improved significantly. However, the complexity of situations and the level of language can still affect my communication, understanding, and reactions. Additionally, I consider myself someone who is not good at reading social cues. If I unintentionally offend someone, I feel sorry about it.

Q7. Why does it seem like you're online all the time, without work or sleep? \
A7. Regarding work: I had a job before where I was criticized for not being proactive, implying that my abilities were insufficient. I even faced dislike from colleagues, leading to self-doubt and shadows. Moreover, I'm the type in the workplace who doesn't chat much, except when I have specific questions. For more details, please refer to "Q4."

Regarding sleep: I've had trouble sleeping for many years. Furthermore, I still share a bed with my mother, which worsens my sleep. I used to be able to stay up late and wake up early, but it seems there might be a disruption in my autonomic nervous system.

Q8. Why do you appear very thin in real life? \
A8. Eating too little combined with a possible eating disorder.

Q8. Why do you always mention "your mom" instead of "your dad"? \
A8. I come from a single-parent family.

Q9. Why are you in a single-parent family? \
A9. My father left us due to gambling issues, leaving my mother, who was unmarried when she gave birth to me. On a side note, I envy families with stable living conditions where there's no need to worry about basic needs.

Q10. Do you go out often? \
A10. Not frequently. 1. If friends invite me, I'll go because I feel insecure without friends. 2. I can only ride a motorcycle, not other forms of transportation, and I need friends' assistance. 3. I don't want to burden others with my lack of money, even though friends occasionally offer to pay for me. I still feel awkward and burdensome.

Q11. Why do you feel like you have paranoid delusions? \
A11. Past experiences of being bullied have made me afraid of being misunderstood.

Q12. Why do you seem hesitant or evasive when discussing or mentioning certain things or words? A12. Since I share a living space with my mom and don't have my own room, there are things I can only say or type when my mom isn't around. Moreover, my mom might look at my screen, so sometimes I have to bring in emotions of wanting to cry to describe or write things. I don't want my mom or anyone else to see or notice me crying. My crying is silent, and I rarely cry because I endure it.

As a side note, I'm even reluctant to discuss or ask questions about seemingly inappropriate things, like preferences for "small breasts" or "large breasts," especially in front of female friends.

Q13. Are you afraid of girls, considering you maintain a certain distance from them? \
A13. Yes, there's an article I published without completing the editing, and I immediately released an edited version. Unfortunately, the system didn't upload my edited version. When classmates saw that article, I was scolded, and since then, I've been afraid of girls and worried about being misunderstood by them. (For details, please see "My Experiences - February 5, 2015")

Q14. Why were you bullied, and when did it happen? \
A14. It happened from elementary school to sixth grade because my learning disability made me an easy target for bullying. In junior high, there was a classmate with ADHD who couldn't be controlled even with medication. He bullied me every day.

Q15. What kind of things hurt you? \
A15. The smiles and cries of girls. I don't know why, but it triggers self-blame and the urge to cry.

Q16. Do you ride a motorcycle? \
A16. No, I ride a scooter. The motorcycle I ride belongs to a friend.

Q17. What kind of motorcycle do you ride? \
A17. JOCKEY V2 125 and JOCKEY E1 125.

Q18. Are you familiar with motorcycles? \
A18. I can ride them, but I'm not familiar with the operation.

Q19. Can you sing? \
A19. No, really :) (In fact, since I share a living space with my mom, I don't dare to sing. I also don't sing in front of others. Currently, I only sing in front of a few friends, and I don't want to hear my own voice.)

Q20. Why don't you want to hear your own voice? A19. I think my voice sounds strange, so I prefer not to hear it.

Q21. Do you have pet birds, and why did you have them? \
A21. Yes, we had pet birds temporarily, given to us by my mom's boyfriend. The blue one, female, was named Jiubi, and the green one, male, was named Bobi. However, the birds eventually flew away, so we don't have them anymore (refer to June 11, 2023, and July 24, 2023). But on August 12, 2023, we adopted a new pet bird.

If you have any further questions or if there's anything else you'd like to discuss, feel free to let me know.\
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Q22. What are your wishes? \
A22.

1\. To enjoy the present as much as possible before I die.

2\. I hope to die before I turn 30. I hope reincarnation is not real. Living on Earth is painful no matter what you do. If reincarnation is real, I hope that I will be better off in the next life than I am now. At least I don’t want to walk the same path again. I can’t find the motivation to keep living.

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Q23. What music genres do you like? \
A23. I like Drum & Bass, Dubstep, Phonk, Metal, Synthwave, and Trap. \
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Q24. Why do you particularly love Drum & Bass? \
A24. I was influenced by the music of Linkin Park and the game “Need for Speed: Underground 2”. I used to listen to Metal, but later realized that I had listened to a lot of Drum & Bass music when I was a child, which is why I love Drum & Bass. However, I also listen to other genres of music, as long as they are not too cheesy.\
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By ChatGPT translate\
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