# May 23, 2019 Negative Post-39

On May 23, 2019, I went out with a friend who gave me a ride on her BW'S R (Zuma 125). Riding on the spacious rear seat of the BW'S R (Zuma 125), intentionally sitting towards the back, I didn't feel excited or embarrassed. I am currently trying to articulate the specific feelings I want to express. Most people might find it enjoyable or cool to be ridden by a girl on a scooter like theBW'S R (Zuma 125), but I don't feel that way. It's more about experiencing the feeling of being a passenger on the back. The preceding sentence is not what I intended to convey. What I want to express is a pessimistic thought and feeling.

On My "May 15, 2019 Negative Post-35", there is a passage expressing, "It seems that being with family and going out with friends doesn't bring happiness." On the family side, I was forced out by my mother because I am the eldest grandson. Additionally, my younger cousin refuses to come out whenever there are family matters. My mother believes that since he stays at home whenever there's something to be done, I, as the eldest, should represent the family. This has accumulated over time, leading to a lack of happiness. On the friends' side, I haven't interacted much with classmates, so I'm not the person who gets invited to go out. Despite my strong desire to have the opportunity to go out with friends and not wanting to be a burden, there are also communication issues that have resulted in me becoming someone who stays at home in front of the computer. Whenever classmates or friends invite me to go out, I always go because those moments are precious youth memories for me. However, those memories aren't positive. In junior high, I was bullied by a classmate with ADHD who intentionally caused accidents, such as hitting the side mirror of a KYMCO MANY 110(Tawianese Scoter) , causing the rider to have an accident. He showed no remorse and simply rode away. Going out with friends only became a part of my life after high school. After going out with friends for four or five times, I realized that I didn't feel happy when doing so. I acknowledge that my perspective is quite pessimistic, but it's a result of the experiences I've been through and how they shaped my thoughts. I don't regret it, and I don't want to abandon this pessimistic mindset. I want to continue this way because it's how I'll grow. Yesterday, after returning home from being out with friends, I felt so exhausted that I wanted to cry before falling asleep. If experiences come with a price, I choose blindness. The eyes are the most expressive part of conveying feelings. Blindness would hide the experiences I've concealed from others.

May 23, 2019 AM 12:37\
\
By ChatGPT translate

\ <br>
