# June 06, 2019 Negative Post-42

On June 6, 2019,

My mother said something that made me feel guilty: "Why can't you pass the exams? I've almost cried. I caught a cold, and I practiced with you even in the rain. I've ridden so many rounds. As for Far East University, Uncle (her boyfriend) is now earning seventeen thousand a month, which should be affordable (originally it was 35 thousand a month, but in reality, he can't receive the full amount). However, today he received a notice of compulsory deduction, one of which is a tax payment of over seventy thousand that he hasn't paid. He also has outstanding violations, including one in his mother's name. Then there's the credit card debt of 240 thousand. This situation prevents him from leaving the company, and the company needs him to do the work of three people. He has to pay one debt after another. (I have already refused, and now it's too late to apply.) Don't move up here. Uncle rents a three-bedroom place, Grandma doesn't live there, and you won't either. What's the point? Moreover, this way, I have to pay rent here and there, and you won't even have a car to practice. Don't always say 'I don't know' and don't be impatient. When you reach my age (my mom is 42), you will regret it. You should plan the direction of your life when you're young. I was confused at your age too. Uncle also said he wasted twenty years. (If he had a gun, he would have committed suicide long ago.) (I also have such thoughts, but I haven't really tried yet; when to try is just a matter of time.) But you've just graduated, and you should have time to think. (Since birth, I've been living a life troubled by money and quarrels. Even after 19 years, my life is still like this. I can't think of anything to contemplate because I've simplified and idealized my thinking. I'm an idealist.)

June 6, 2019, 00:05 AM.\
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